does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize