Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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