how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
