It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
