i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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