is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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