shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
