Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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