i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
