I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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