i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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