I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
this is an emotional support booty call
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
