We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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