i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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