And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
