I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
