i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
