So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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