I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i think i have herpe
just one?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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