just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
This show inspires me to have sex in space
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
