Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize