Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
