The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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