HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
