Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
