I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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