He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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