please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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