Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize