Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
its not stalking. its research.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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