Don't you send me to vm
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
