My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
