But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
