No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Enjoy the penises
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
