he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
