just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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