hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
