You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
