Soap is not a condiment
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
