She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
