WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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