Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Two words: blizzard sex
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
