Grow some girl-balls and come out already
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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