mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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