i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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