Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
