He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
