He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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