"it" just moved
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize