It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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