you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
