I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
