the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
