hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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