I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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