people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You pole danced in your parka.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
