I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
