I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
